Blogging sucks.
I started off as someone who felt all bloggers are bizarre freaks. But as soon as I got myself into it, my perceptions changed and I am now loving it… am I?
But I realized, blogs are dangerous. I thought blogs are supposed to be a dumb “diary”, a means to channel my frustration, my dissatisfaction, my anger towards certain things, certain people… a blog is like a virtual sandbag which I can punch with all might and yet, it wouldn’t utter a word of displease.
So I thought. No. Apparently, as I regurgitate my lamentations, there were disconcerted whispers coming from my blog. As I vent my unhappiness and neurotic thoughts on certain issues, judgemental words were heard. My blog is alive!!!! It’s talking!!!... because of its readers. I am fully aware that different people have different opinions. Sigh. Fortunately, and unfortunately, its readers, have conjured up voices which I feel I could not ignore.
I hate to admit this, but I’m very influenced by what people think. A blog wouldn’t be a blog when its writer is emotionally affected by its readers. When she tries to be diplomatic, when she chooses her words carefully to please everyone, when she nips the less pleasant sentences to avoid hurting anyone... then maybe, she’s no longer herself.
It’s upsetting really. But I can’t pretend like I don’t care.
Maybe I should just resort to my personal diary which I have had since primary school, which I lock so securely in my drawer….
“Dear diary, I am upset today.”
6 Comments:
hey. its YOUR blog. your posts. u can do anything u want lerr. the fact ppl are responding to your posts shows a great deal of influence u have eh. no worries. :)
totally get you here. it was once my dilemma too. as a result i am not as open on my blog anymore. it just isnt worth it when people give you shit for something you write on your blog. but like you, i keep a diary too. a private blog actually. its way healthier. :)
its hard to strike a balance, but you know ar... its never a good idea to change yourself because of something other people say/do.
for what its worth. must tell you this - I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG!! no i am not saying this to flatter you or anything. its from the bottom of my heart. :)
ohoh i know its 30 mins earlier (msian time!) , but i want to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY first!!!! faster go check if got new wrinkles or loose teeth or not! :p
shungz : yau mou, so influential!? tough life tough life..but won't die.
Ling: U want to lum sei me or what! and NOH, no loose teeth, maybe some pimples got lah. still qing1 chun1 mah! haha! hey, i know u'd understand the dilemma. because i was guilty of placing you in one once upon a time ago. I sincerely apologize. Yes, I guess resorting to my personal diary is a smarter choice.
Someone said: U write a blog because you want people to read it, so you gotta learn to take critism. Food for thought. Muaks!
Zen, when people comment on your posts, it means they were affected by something you said. Yeah, like Shungz said, it shows how much influence you have.
As for being affected by what people think, it is a problem most bloggers face. Some of us get over it, become more comfortable being ourselves and in expressing our deeper thoughs, overall gain confidence. Some of us start writing more cryptic posts, reveal less on our blogs in an obvious manner, in short, learn to protect ourselves. Either way the blogger tends, I don't think it's a bad thing.
I think of blogging as a conversation. On one side is the blogger, on the other are the comments from readers and the thoughts that the blogger has from reading her own posts... I like these conversation. It gives me a wider perspective of things, it allows me to reflect on my life.
Now, my friend.. you just gave me something to blog about. Love you, babe. :D
Haha, can't believe it..i even have a certain degree of influence on yee pei ze great =p gotta check out ur post! definitely, what u said makes perfect sense, considering it coming from a veteran blogger=p It's a dilemma. And i think I opt for the protective mechanism.. maybe i'm just not yet ready.
sorry ah.. I've been really malas. the blog post in question is still half done. as I speak, 3 half done drafts are sitting in my blog engine. sigh.
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